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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24432211">A Light On A Bridge</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelandry5/pseuds/Kelandry5'>Kelandry5</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Meetings, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, different first meeting, no one dies</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:09:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24432211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelandry5/pseuds/Kelandry5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kozume Kenma is ready to give up on life. He feels like a burden and he's tired of being depressed. He's done dragging people down with his existence and he has a plan to end it. He travels far away to another town and stands on a bridge. But when a persistent stranger shows up, plans change.</p><p> </p><p>Or</p><p>What if Kenma and Hinata met differently? What if Hinata was the reason Kenma's still alive.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kozume Kenma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>108</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Light On A Bridge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Theoretically this takes place in place of Hinata and Kenma's first meeting and it's in Miyagi. Hinata is a first year and Kenma is a second.</p><p>Comments are appreciated </p><p>Hope everyone is staying healthy and safe!!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kenma stared down at the water rushing below. The lights from the street lamps played on the surface creating quite a show but he didn’t care about that. He barely saw it. He barely saw any of it.</p><p>A light gust of wind chilled the tears on his cheeks and blew his hair into his eyes. It was a cold night. Kenma wasn’t dressed for it in his shorts and hoodie.</p><p>
  <em> If the fall or drowning doesn’t kill me, the cold will. </em>
</p><p>That’s what he hoped, not that any of those options sounded like a pleasant way to go. It would probably be slow and excruciating. There was a risk he’d fight for his life in the last minutes and survive. There was a risk it could take more than an hour for him to die. </p><p>Unless he died from the fall, this could be excruciating. But, even if it took hours, once those passed, everything would be over. It’d be the last thing he’d have to endure. And, if he was lucky, there wouldn’t be much of him left for his family to deal with. His parents or Kuroo wouldn’t find his body till it was unrecognizable. Maybe never. They could just go on and forget if they even cared he was gone.</p><p>
  <em> They’ll be better off this way. I’m dragging them down. It’s better for them if I don’t exist. </em>
</p><p>Kenma gripped the rail of the bridge with his hands till his knuckles turned white. This was the right move. This was for the best and he knew it. It had taken him over an hour to get here and he’d stood on the bridge for another two. The whole time, his brain went over everything, calculating every possibility. This was the best one. This is what he wanted. It was what he had to do. It was the only way to be free and to free the ones he loved.</p><p>Besides, if anyone really wanted him here, wouldn’t they have contacted him by now? His phone hadn’t made a single noise since he left home.</p><p>He closed his eyes and took a deep shuddering breath. A few more tears fell from his eyes as he lifted his leg about to place it on the rail so he could hop over.</p><p>“What are you doing?” A sudden voice, seemingly out of nowhere, stopped him.</p><p>Kenma dropped his leg and ducked his head to hide his tears behind his hair. The blood in his body felt like ice and his stomach churned as he struggled to come up with a good lie to get the stranger to go away.</p><p>“Looking at the water,” Kenma finally mumbled.</p><p>There was a pause and footsteps coming closer, but Kenma didn’t dare look up.</p><p>“You were going to jump.” The voice was solemn and blunt and a statement. There wasn’t even a bit of questioning in the tone.</p><p>Still, Kenma tried to deny it. He needed this guy? to go away. “No. I-”</p><p>“I was too.”</p><p>“Huh?” Surprised and confused, Kenma raised his head and turned it towards the stranger. He couldn’t make out a lot in the low light except bright orange hair and the build of someone a bit smaller, but probably close in age to himself. He was leaning on the rail and staring at the water making it impossible to read his facial expression. Was the stranger messing with Kenma?</p><p>“Someone once told me that’s the only reason people at night come here… It’s good for jumping.” The stranger lifted his head with a small sad smile.</p><p>“I was just looking at the water,” he insisted again.</p><p>“I don’t really believe you.” The sad smile turned to a serious frown. This guy wasn’t falling for it.</p><p>Kenma didn’t know what to say. He just wanted to be alone. He wanted this guy to leave. He was ready to jump. Why now? It wasn’t any of this guys business. And what did that ‘I was too’ even mean. If the guy wanted to jump, why was he talking.</p><p>Kenma turned his attention back to the water and stared at it. Maybe if he stopped talking, the guy would go away.</p><p>The silence stretched on for a little while and Kenma started to think that maybe the guy had left too quietly to hear. He raised his head again to check but the orange hair was still blowing in the wind beside him.</p><p>The stranger must have noticed him looking again and turned to face him again. “Want to go get some ice cream?” He held his hand out to Kenma with a bright smile that felt too bright to exist on such a dark night.</p><p>Kenma furrowed his brow. “I thought you wanted to jump..” he pointed out.</p><p>“That was months ago.” The guy shrugged, still holding his hand out with a smile.</p><p>“Then why are you here?” It wasn’t like Kenma would usually care about that even on a good day but there was something about this person. There was something that made him keep talking. Something that made him want answers. </p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“If not to jump, why are you here this late…”</p><p>“I was running when I saw you walk towards the bridge. I knew what you were doing and I didn’t want you to do it.” The stranger finally dropped the smile for a more serious look, though his eyes were still friendly and warm, Kenma noticed.</p><p>But he didn’t care. </p><p>“I don’t know you. And you don’t know me,” Kenma pointed out. His voice was almost bitter but it didn’t seem to have much effect on the stranger.</p><p>“Hinata Shouyou,” the stranger, Hinata, introduced. “And I could know you better if you come get ice cream with me.”</p><p>Kenma turned back towards the water. “It’s too cold for ice cream.” <em> And I’m trying to die, not induce a sugar rush. </em></p><p>“Hot chocolate then.”</p><p>This Hinata Shouyou really didn’t give up.</p><p>“Stop,” Kenma nearly shouted and gripped the railing again. He rarely yelled but this was irritating. He just wanted to die. He wanted to be left alone.</p><p>And he almost thought it worked. He could sense movement from the other and there was silence. But it didn’t last.</p><p>“Don’t you have someone who cares for you..” Hinata asked softly. The voice was closer now but Kenma didn’t dare look up.</p><p>“They’re better off if I’m gone,” Kenma mumbled, tightening his grip on the railing.</p><p>“I don’t believe that.”</p><p>“It’s true. I’m a burden to them. I’m useless.”</p><p>There was another pause and then a long sigh that almost got drowned out by a gust of wind. </p><p>“I thought that too..” Hinata whispered. “I thought I was worthless. I thought I couldn’t do anything right. I blamed myself for my dad leaving and for not being able to pull together a real team. I blamed myself for my mother crying and my sister having only one parent. I thought no one needed me. I thought no one wanted me. It’d be better if I was dead. Everyone would be happier and I wouldn’t have to be sad anymore.”</p><p>There was another pause. Kenma didn’t know what to say to all of that. His first thought was Hinata should have jumped then.. But he couldn’t really tell that to someone else. He wanted to die but just himself. But what was there to say in a moment like this.</p><p>Hinata continued without him. “I still feel that way sometimes. I still feel like jumping.”</p><p>“Is that supposed to convince me not to jump.. Because it’s not doing a very good job..” Kenma mumbled under his breath.</p><p>Hinata let out a nervous laugh. “Sorry. I just don’t want to say it gets better, you know? Everyone always says that. They say the feeling stops and everything is fine. They say you stop hurting and feeling scared. I don’t want to say that.”</p><p>“Because it doesn’t.”</p><p>“Well, yeah.” Hinata laughed nervously again. "Not forever. It comes and goes. There's good. There's still bad though too. Bad days. Bad weeks. Bad months. It's hard. But.. you want the feeling to stop. Not death.”</p><p>“Death is how the feeling stops.”</p><p>“Sure. But death stops everything! Not just the bad stuff.” Hinata started tapping on the railing. It sent little vibrations through the bar to Kenma’s hands that were still stiffly wrapped around the cold metal as Hinata continued talking.</p><p>“If I’d jumped.. I’d never have found my new friends. I’d never have smiled again. I wouldn’t have seen my sister in her first ballet recital, which she totally rocked! I wouldn’t have gotten to play volleyball against awesome strong teams or spike another volleyball. I’d never get to eat my favorite foods again or watch fireworks or see the new episodes of all the shows I like. Dying makes all the good stuff go away too. It takes away all your chances…”</p><p>Hinata’s words trailed off into the wind and Kenma unpeeled his fingers from the rail one at a time. They hung limply at his side as he sniffled. What was he supposed to say? He still wanted to go but… Hinata’s words left him feeling unsure. What about the good stuff he was leaving behind? What about Kuroo? What about that new game he just got or the one coming out next month that was supposed to be a big hit? What about the cat that always waited for his breakfast scraps on the corner? What about his parents and his grandma?</p><p>The two stood in silence for several minutes with only the wind and the rushing river below making any noise. Then, out of what felt like nowhere, there was a hand wrapped around his.</p><p>He glanced down and followed the hand to the arm with his eyes, confirming it was Hinata’s. He raised his bloodshot golden eyes to meet slightly wet, big, brown, puppy dog ones that accompanied that smile which was still too bright for nighttime. </p><p>“Let’s go get some hot chocolate,” Hinata insisted again, tugging at Kenma’s hand.</p><p>Kenma hesitated, but eventually gave him a shaky nod. “I guess..”</p><p>It was enough for Hinata’s entire face to light up and his whole body to stand taller, though it still stood a few inches shorter than Kenma’s. </p><p>“There’s a cafe near by! They have yummy sweets too!”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Kenma let Hinata pull him away from the railing and off the bridge towards the cafe. Maybe he’ll try again tomorrow. Maybe no one will stop him then, he thinks.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He never goes back to the bridge.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For all the friends that have been lost, they are missed and this is dedicated to them.</p><p>Anyway, if you’re feeling suicidal, please talk to someone. You’re not alone. And there are people who care about you and there is so much left for you in this world so please reach out to someone. Keep fighting. Don't give up yet.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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